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2022-11-05
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|Boris the flea
by BullyBeef of SDT/NFA
>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<
All you dudes who are in the scene think you are so good,going on about
what you have done on the amiga and how much memory you`ve got and how
big your hard drive is,well let me tell you us fleas are pissed off with
it "what is this lad going on about i hear you say", well thats ya first
mistake cos i am not a lad i`m a flea, thats FLEA, and the reason i am
pissed off is because we are just as good at doing things as you lot but
do we get any credit, no we bloody don`t, so i am going to tell you a
bit about being a flea in the 1990`s.
As you might have guessed i an a flea, not just any flea mind you cos i
live on a pit bull terrier and that makes me well ard, only the other
day me and my mates jumped onto a posh poodle that was passing and we
knocked the shit out of the fleas that lived on it.(well ard me) you
might think that we have a easy life but it`s not all about taking big
chunks out of the dog and making it scratch like hell,(even if that is a
good laugh for us fleas),we have problems as well as you lot, people
spray us with flea sprays to try and kill us but what they do not know
is that we are equipped with world war 1 gas masks,so that fucks them
up, so what do they do? they search through the dogs coat to find us,
and then the dirty sods pick us up and squash us between ther fingers.
(not very nice for us fleas).
I`ve not always lived on this dog,oh no about two months ago i lived on
a dog called "lucky" who was a boxer dog, and i was very happy till one
day the dog blew up outside tesco`s supermarket, (you must have read
about it cos it was all over the newspapers) anyway i wasn`t hurt but me
and my 20,000 mates were overcome with fumes and had to live rough until
the pit bull came along which isn`t easy when you are only knee high to
an ants bollock.
Last week me and my mates went out playing cards and getting pissed on O
RHESUS POSITIVE (thats blood for all you thick gets out there) on a
poodle in warrington,,the next thing a bloody big set of metal teeth
started ripping the dogs fur out. i thought shit whats going on? then
we found out that the owner of the poodle had only gone to the poodle
parlour to get the dogs fur cut (thanks for telling us missis)we had to
run like shit to avoid the friggin clippers cos they would have made a
nasty mess of us fleas if they would have have got us, i would not have
minded so much but i had a bloody good hand at the time, (a straight
flush) know what i mean.
I`ve lived on some famous peoples pets in my time,JACK THE RIPPERS cat
was the best cos the cat got heart and livers for tea every night yum
yum. wonder where he got them from. MADDONNAS cat was onother one,it
was one of the nicest pussey`s i`ve seen in years. MICHAEL JACKSONS
chimp used to baffle me because it used to always walk funney, then one
day i found out why, i`ll leave that one to your own imagination because
i`m no grass (us fleas have standards y`know).
Anyway the other night i was reading THE WORD 5 on my amiga 1200 with
hard drive and 6 meg of memorory (told ya i wasn`t a ordinary flea) and
i thought fuck it i might as well write in to ya all.
People think us fleas are stupid,were not that daft because we all have
amigas and not P.C`s, i bet most of the plonkers who own a pc and admit
that they have one don`t know what pc stands for, well i`ll tell you
what it stands for, PISSING CASH, why is it called that i hear you ask?
i`ll tell you,it`s because thats what you are thinking when you have to
buy loads of extras to make it into a half decent bloody computor, any-
way i have to go now cos some kids have just set fire to a jack russel
and i don`t want to miss out.
Remember if you see a flea be nice to it cos it could be me...
Ps.if any PC owners or Mr Jackson have taken offence at what i have said
TUFF SHITY.
PPs.don`t miss the next boris the flea story (a night on the town with
the lads and what the lads really get up to?)
PPPs.you can now buy boris the flea t-shirts,mugs,books,etc from bully
beef, just send me loads of money.
PPPPs.if you think boris the flea has really written all this, then go
to a doc who deals with screwballs, i did. see ya.........
end